Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
