I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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