On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
