He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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