he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
