Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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