Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
