I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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