what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
