my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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