quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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