Moan for me like Helen Keller
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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