This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
