so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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