but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
