D3 body, D1 cock
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize