I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
