I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
