So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
