Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
