I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
