if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
