My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
