Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
