weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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