You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
