She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I wear drunk well.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
