six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Are my feet made of real feet?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
