It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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