1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
