Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
