I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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