btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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