should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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