I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
