Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
