Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
