About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you made out with another girl for some wings
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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