Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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