Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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