Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
