If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
