susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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