$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
