Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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