I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You are a genius and a whore.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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