im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
