dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
