im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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