I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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