people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
