Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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