How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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