You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
