there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
