but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
