i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
