I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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