i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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